This week I yoga'd and then I got rolfed

Last Saturday I attended my first yoga class. It was only a partially emasculating experience, and it felt pretty good. Last Sunday I attempted to run. I didn't make it to a mile without my forever sore hip getting sore. I was discouraged.

As the week went on my hip felt much better, and Wednesday I realized that no part of my body that's bugged me over the last year or so -- the hip, foot, calf, lower abs, knee -- was even the least bit balky. Thursday I tried running again, but only doing what I thought of as a test. I walked for half a mile, slowly, quickly, stomping my feet, whatever I could do to make my hip sore. Nothing worked. Then I ran for two miles. Slowly, but I ran. And I felt no pain/soreness before, during, or after the run. It was the first time this year I could say that. I was excited.

Yesterday I went to my first Rolfing session. To say I was nervous is an understatement, but the little lady with whom I had an appointment made me feel about as comfortable as she could. And after an hour or so of her digging into my body with her fingers, knuckles, and elbows I felt pretty good. My hip was only a little sore toward the end, even though I think her goal was to make me cry working on that part.

If you're interested, here is a documentary that's about the length of a 60 Minutes report regarding Leon Fleisher. He is a world renown classical pianist who had to stop playing for years and years because of a condition that made the fingers of his right hand curl under and become impossible to straighten out. Eventually, what reignited his piano playing career was a combination of Botox injections and Rolfing. Leon Fleisher and I share the same Rolfer, Tessy. She is shown for a few seconds a couple of times between the 11:00 and 13:00 marks:


If you're REALLY interested in Fleisher's working with Tessy, read this.
Anyway, this morning I was scheduled for my second yoga class but I was up early and wanted to see how I'd feel running. My Rolfer told me to take it easy for a day or so because I might find I was a little sore from our session, so I did. An absolutely pain/soreness-free three miles later and I was ready for yoga.

Last week there was substitute teacher who eased me into the yogatry, but this week the boss was back and she wasn't fooling around. Yoga is a combination of mind and body something or other and it's taught by gentle people who are in tune with their bodies and their place in the world. I'm not saying that Jenn the Butcher is not, because she is a very nice and knowledgeable practitioner and teacher of the yoga arts, but she made me break a sweat. We were even doing close arm push-ups, for crying out loud.

At the end of that class I was pretty relaxed, my body felt good, and nothing was sore. Today was the first time in 2012 that I can say I felt like a "real" runner. There was no need to adjust, or compensate for, or nurse anything while I ran. I warmed up, I ran, I cooled down.

I'm not saying that one yoga class and one Rolfing session is all it takes to get yourself back in whack when its been knocked out of whack, but right now I can't say it's not either.

On a completely unrelated note, am I the only who is being driven absolutely mad by this?

The yoga adventure

To combat a year-long ache, pain, and injury extravaganza I'm launching a two-pronged assault on my body. The first prong of the assault was launched this past weekend by attending my first-ever yoga class. I had no idea what to expect, but I figured that I'd a) be the only man in the place; and b) struggle much more than everyone else.

As it went, I was indeed the only man in the place. I might be the only man who has ever been in the place. As for the struggle, it wasn't that bad. For the first class I was required to have an appointment so I could provide some information and sign a waiver and such. It was also an introductory lesson and the lady who led it just went through some basic stretches and poses and meditations or whatever to familiarize us n00bs with what goes on when you yogacize.

The class was scheduled for an hour and fifteen minutes, and I have to admit that time went by pretty quickly. The last 5-10 minutes was a little much for me with the lavender-scented satchels over our eyes while we laid still until the instructor started to ding a bell and read some new age hippy stuff as we paid attention to our breathing or something, but I guess I can get used to that part.

So what did this have to do with running? Absolutely nothing. Yet.

The hope is that doing yoga will stretch and strengthen the parts of my body that have given me trouble over the last year, which in turn will allow me to run long and strong in a way I haven't be able to for a couple of years. It's getting to a point where I don't even know how to stretch the things that bother me that really need stretching. (Like my hip... how in the world do you stretch a hip?)


This is some yoga pose for opening up the hips, I think.
I don't expect to be able to do it any time soon.
The second prong of the attack launches Friday when I go to my first Rolfing session. Rolfing is even more terrifying than yoga because while there were other people at yoga Rolfing is one on one. I'm not sure I like having someone's undivided attention. Interestingly, the yoga class instructor talked about the fascia and how it "hugs" all the muscles and stuff in our bodies and how it connects everything in our bodies together. She mentioned how Rolfing realigns that fascia, which is exactly what I'm looking to do.

On the other hand, she mentioned it in conjunction with explaining how a 60 second foot self-massage can stimulate your entire body through your fascia. I didn't experience that so maybe she was talking out of her butt.

At any rate, I have added yoga to my fitness repertoire. I'm still not sure what I think about this development.

Coming back from an injury... again

Confession: I have run one measly little mile since April 21, 2012. I aggravated soreness in my hip at exactly mile 4 of a 10K run on that day and it went from sore to oh my god it's downright painful to even try to walk briskly in the course of one step and one "pop" feeling in my hip. I was forced to walk slowly the last 2.2 miles of the 10K. I finally had the nerve to look at the results and saw I came in 2,166th out of 2,235 finishers, 161st out of 163 finishers in my age group, and finished with a 13:47/mile pace. That's humiliating for my fragile male ego, especially considering I was running a nice and easy 9:00/mile pace for the first four miles and felt really good, except for the sore hip thing I had going on.

Several days after I felt the pop and after a sorry attempt to run I noticed a giant bruise on my hip. I went to the doctor, and after x-rays and evaluation he told me my hip joints were fine (whew!) but the muscles and/or tendons that lap over the joint were inflamed, and when I pushed it by running a 10K race one inflamed muscle/tendon rubbed against another and kaboom.

Luckily, it's not a major injury and he told me to take two weeks off running and pop a couple prescription strength Aleves a day. If my hip still bothers me after those two weeks I am to get an MRI and come back to see him.

Those two weeks are up. I am happy to report that my hip feels terrific, as does every other ache and pain I've accumulated over the last year or so. And I mean that honestly. I'm not trying to fool anyone or myself by saying that. Tomorrow I am going to do what I always do for a first post-injury test run (something of which I'm becoming unfortunately too familiar) and hop on the treadmill to see how long I can last. The goal is three miles. The reality may be different.


True story: I looked for a picture using the search string "coming back again"
and in return I was rewarded with a close-up picture of a pair of lips with herpes on them.
So here's an adorable baby bunny. You're welcome.
This time I'm also going to do things I haven't before. Although I look fantastic (ask anyone), I'm not young and I have to stop pretending I'm running in a 25 year old's body. Here's a short list:

• Yoga classes to help with flexibility. I'm a lousy stretcher, and while I think stretching for runners is overrated (I'm more in the warm-up/cool-down is more important than stretching camp) I think flexibility is underrated. I need to keep my old body limber, even if I have to do it in a room full of girls who sap a little of my masculinity with every pose or whatever. I start Saturday morning and I am scared.
• Getting Rolfed. Rolfing is the realigning of the connective tissue throughout the body. The Official Hippie of the Running Moron Blog thinks all of my maladies over the last year are related and Rolfing will help get everything right. The way it's described Rolfing sounds like a peaceful and almost tranquil experience, yet I am absolutely terrified about starting, only 12 days from now. (Yikes!)
• Gait analysis. I love Saucony shoes. I'm lucky enough to get a new pair to test out every once in a while, and I swear by the Cortana, Mirage, and especially the Kinvara. However, I realize it's been a long, long time since I had my gait evaluated and I should do that rather than just run in Saucony shoes because I like them. I'll go find out what kind of shoe and which one is the correct and best one for me, and then I'll figure out its Saucony equivalent and buy that. (P.S. I plan to get a before and after Rolfing gait analysis. I think it'd be interesting to see what, if anything, changes.)

Will this stuff keep me from having another injury that nags me for to long and/or pushes me to the sidelines for weeks or months at a time? Heck, I don't know. But at this point I'm will to try anything and everything to keep myself upright and my feet churning one in front of the other. If the internet has any other ideas or suggestions I'm willing to listen to them. Speak up, internet.

Ask a Moron II

DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, nurse, physical therapist, chiropractor, herbalist, nutritionist, or any kind of health care professional. I am not a running professional or expert, nor am I skilled in the evaluation of a runner's needs or able to suggest the proper shoes, clothing, or gear that would be best suited for anyone in particular. I am a moron. Nothing I write here should be taken seriously. All serious questions and concerns should be posed to people who are qualified and skilled enough to provide serious answers.

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Welcome to Ask a Moron, where I (once again, see Ask a Moron I) address questions from people who are tired of getting good answers from qualified running and health care professionals. Because who needs that when you can have some idiot tell you something that's probably completely wrong, and maybe even dangerous? Let's go to the phones questions:

Question: How come I always experience nausea after any long run? Any suggestions? -- T.(S.)L.

We all know that when we're running our longest runs we're likely going to have to replenish our fuel on the fly so we can keep going. There are many products out there to assist with that, in liquid, semi-liquid, and solid forms. Gatorade may be enough, or maybe you're a gel person, or maybe you like to chew. Unfortunately, sometimes those things can upset your stomach and while you may not feel it so much on the run when you stop and things settle down your body might think what you put it in wasn't such a great idea and will let you know via nausea. The answer to fix/avoid that dilemma may be as simple as diluting your Gatorade with water, or that you're not drinking enough water with your gels or chews when you ingest them, or it may be that Big Mac and fries you stopped for mid-run wasn't such a great idea.

Question: What does it mean when runners are told to use their arms, "because they are your other set of legs"? -- C.L.

There are a lot of different theories regarding running form. I know nothing about any of them. But I have tried to incorporate some of the things I learned from Chi Running into how I run. One of those things was how to hold your arms when you run and what to do with them while you move. Basically, you're supposed to hold them so when you're running your arms look like this:


The thought is that moving your arms like a locomotive wheel is the best way to increase your efficiency by allowing your legs to expend the majority of the energy used to propel yourself. Those people you see whose arms are flailing around, or allowing their hands to cross the mid point of their bodies, probably think running is a chore and have no idea how much stronger, faster, and easier they can run just by letting their arms hang straight down, bent at the elbow, and moving like a locomotive wheel.

I don't even have a witty remark to end this answer because running form is very serious. Very.

Question: [What is your f]avorite interval workout? -- T.L.A.

I don't like any of them. Because interval workouts hurt. But I have tried and had success with Yasso 800s, and the interval workout that was part of the training program in the book Run Less, Run Faster I used to train for all of my half marathons in 2010 provided the best results hands down (I just got burned out on the program after using it for a year), but my "favorite" interval workout is the one I used while training for this year's Cherry Blossom 10 Miler. It went something like this:

After a mile warm up, run 2 minutes hard, jog for 2 minutes and repeat 9 times for a total of 36 minutes.

Usually I need a training program to be highly structured, like the one in Run Less, Run Faster that would tell me to run X distance at X pace X number of times and run X pace for X distance between intervals, but I was recovering from injury while training for the Cherry Blossom and I loved the flexibility I enjoyed by running for time rather than distance. The "2 minutes hard" was supposed to be at about 5K pace, but depending on how I was feeling that day I could go a little harder or a little easier. It might not have been the best prescription to set a 10 mile PR, but I came to actually enjoy interval workout day.

I'm still no big fan of interval workouts though.

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If you like the "Ask a Moron" feature I need more questions, so don't ask the right people about things. Ask a moron. You can email, Twitter @runningmoron, Facebook, or leave your question in a comment here.

Bending and adjusting for health and fitness

For over a year I've been frustrated. Here's why:

• An abdominal strain that forced me to run the 2011 Frederick (MD) half marathon slower than I wanted to.
• A calf strain that caused me to not run the 2011 Survivor Harbor 7 (miler) and defer the Baltimore 10 Miler.
• A stress fracture in my foot that made me give up running completely for the last three months of 2011.
• Slow recovery from said stress fracture causing me to run the 2012 Cherry Blossom 10 Miler over 13 minutes slower than when I last ran it in 2010.
• Aggravating a hip injury that caused me to walk the last 2.2 miles of Baltimore's Sole of the City 10K a few weeks ago. (I haven't looked because I'm too ashamed, but I'm sure I was one of the last 100 out of 2500+ finishers).
• That same hip injury that made me blow off last weekend's Frederick half marathon and forced me to give away the great jacket given out as a premium.

The list is, sadly, getting pretty impressive. As it is I don't know what the cause of it is or what to do about it. Maybe it could be age. Maybe I could stand to lose a few pounds. Maybe I could be wearing the wrong shoes. There are a lot of maybes. One of those maybes comes from my friend Aubry, an acupuncturist, chinese medicineologist, and someone I like to refer to as the Official Hippie of The Running Moron blog, even though she has no clue she's been awarded that designation. Seriously, she put a lot of time and effort into earning the knowledge she has and I don't take what she thinks lightly.

Anyway, Aubry thinks all of my issues over the past year are related. And she thinks the connective tissue throughout my body is out of whack. And she thinks the solution is Rolfing.

Although "rolfing" sounds like something extremely filthy -- have you seen that disgusting video with those 2 girls and that 1 cup? In my opinion, that could qualify as a definition for rolfing (If you don't know what I'm talking about don't look it up. Seriously. Watch this video of someone's dad watching it instead.) -- it's really just a program to reorganize the fascia in the body, and I'm going to do it. I'm going to meet a professional Rolfer in a few weeks to start and I am terrified. I don't know why, but it seems like this whole ordeal can't possibly be as calm and soothing as described. I mean, if my fascia -- my fascia! -- is out of whack it doesn't seems like something can be straightened out without a lot of oohing and aahing and owwing. Also, it doesn't seem like the most manly thing a man can subject himself to.

On that note, I have a cousin who swears by yoga for helping her overcome the effects of hip surgery. Lo and behold, a Groupon was available for 20 classes at the very studio my cousin haunts. So I bought it. I go for an intro class in a couple weeks and then I guess I'll figure out how to get through the next 19 classes. If the idea of Rolfing seems a little less than manly to me, I expect yoga to make me feel downright feminine. I'm even more scared of yoga than I am of Rolfing and expect something like this in the class or group or pod or whatever they call and studio full of yoga-ers or yoga-ists or whatever:


With all the kneading and prodding and bending and stretching I'm about to take on just to get myself in shape to run without injury I can't help my but think that this is what running has come to for me: doing uncomfortable things in uncomfortable positions uncomfortably in front of other, probably uncomfortable people. Terrific. Terrific.

Oh, well. I'm sure it'll work. Heck, it better. I better not de-man myself for nothing!

This isn't a blog post. Or a review.

Sometimes a guy just doesn't know what to post or how to post it. Such has been me for a couple weeks now, to which the half dozen drafts I've saved of posts that haven't been finished can attest. However, I've been putting off writing about a product I tested, and it's not fair that I keep doing that, so please visit the folks at Clean Bottle. The Clean Bottle is unique because it opens on both ends for easy cleaning. I can't tell you how much I hate water bottles sometimes because I can't clean them well and they get a mildewy smell that's gross and makes me not want to use that bottle again, even after I run it through the dishwasher and sanitize it. This bottle solves that. It's great.

I even got to try out the Runner, which allows you to securely strap the Clean Bottle to your hand. I'm not sure I'm a carry a bottle guy over being a wear a hydration belt guy, but if I am I would definitely carry the Runner. I plan on doing a video review of it soon. I'm just not sure how soon. Because I'm in a blogging rut right now. But word of advice: if you don't have a smartphone/mp3 player the size of an iPhone or smaller don't expect it to fit in the Runner's smartphone holder. My trying to squeeze my Samsung Galaxy S II Skyrocket in there was an exercise in futility. That's what I get for choosing Android over iOS, I guess. Still, it's a nice, functional product and worthy of your consideration.


The Clean Bottle Runner, in all its glory.
Now that I think about it this might have been a blog post. And a review. But the Clean Bottle still deserves more. And better. So try it out for yourself.

And I'll see you when I'm writing at you.