While you are 3,000 lbs. of steel and I am a mere 180 (or so) lb. bag of crunchy bones and soft skin, you do not get to set all the rules. But while I am just as entitled to run on local surface roads as you are to drive on them, it is my belief that I go out of my way to accomodate you. In fact, here is a short list of the things I do to ensure you have to concern yourself with me as little as possible:
- I wake up well before dawn in order to run and be off the road before the vast majority of you and your brethren are on the road.
- I wear a reflective vest to make sure you can see me from as far away as possible, as embarrassing as that is.
- I run as close to the side of the road as I can to take up as little space as I can.
- I observe all crosswalk signals and traffic lights, if there are any.
Knowing what I do to ensure you can co-exist with me on the road, I would greatly appreciate your doing something to at least try to acknowledge I have a right to co-exist with you. Like turning down your high beams when you see me. Just because I'm not in a car doesn't mean that I'm not blinded by your light, and my shielding my eyes from your beams should be an indication of that.
But if you choose to not turn off your high beams even after seeing my reflective vest from hundreds of yards away, and after seeing me shield my eyes from their glare as you get near, do not act like I am unjustified in flipping you the bird as you go past. You wouldn't appreciate someone shining bright lights in your eyes, would you?
Additionally, if you do get flipped off for not being a "share the road" kind of car, do not make a fool of yourself by slowing to a stop after you pass me and sit there deciding whether to come back and give me the what-for for sending you the only message I'm capable of to indicate my displeasure with your unfriendly actions or to let it go and keep driving. Just let it go and keep driving. It's your fault you got the bird anyway.
I want to be your friend, Car, I really do. I'm willing to accept your size and your speed and your propensity to (seemingly purposely) drive too close to me when you go past and your exhaust and everything else in order to run on paved roads. It would be nice if you would do something, anything, to acknowledge my right to run.
But if you simply refuse I guess I'll always have my middle finger.
See you on the road!
Your pal-
The Running Moron
Thanks for not making me wait! That was really clever and funny and did the person really stop to give you what for? Wow! I'm lucky enough to have a paved bike path that runs from my town to the next and is approximately 11.5 miles long. With a couple of laps in a business parking lot or by doing a short out and back in the middle I can run a half marathon on it. That is if I have someone to pick me up, if not...I guess I'm running a marathon in order to get home! ;-) Happy running, and btw it is now dark enough in Alaska in the mornings that I will need to have some form of light if I want to run early. Thanks for the entertainment this morning. When does your book get published?
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, thank you. Finally, someone posts this all too important letter. I love your blog!
ReplyDeleteCathy: If I wrote a book probably only you and my mom would buy it, and I doubt my mom would even read it. So I wouldn't hold my breath waiting if I were you. ;-)
ReplyDeleteAmy Read: Thanks! Will you buy the book I'll never get published?